Fore Word : (a)All the characters and places in this blog are non-ficitious.Any resemblance to a person either an “item” or a “non-item” is purely intentional
(b) Albert Einstein says that fourth dimension of time exists(at least thats wat i understood from e = m * c *c).After reading my blog i wish i seriously could traverse this unique dimension.
(c)This blog is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or beliefs. If it does just follow what IIIT has thought me “Lite teesuko mama”.
(d)”Counterism” is a religion learnt though experience by almost all IIITians to survive.It has been used extensively in this blog.
Prologue : It was the much awaited year 2012 for YVP. He has successfully finished his three years of “kasi” research at “Nano-HardCore” technologies and was accredited the
“fellow man award”.During his flight journey in VIP section, our VP gaaru was thinking of various ways of boasting of his achievements and in his laptop browsed through the
“Batch Book ’08” which had testimonials written by his batch mates of IIIT-H. Suddenly his vision switched to Ksami’s(pronounced as Sami) testimonial.He decided that he would be the one to whom he would be boasting of his achievements
Ksami profile :
Favourite Pasttime : Playing Lan games CS,AOE(wat not); Studying in bathroom(courtesy YVP’s testi) ; Watching Item movies and Irritating people with their stories ; follows counterism
History :9 pointer. A jaffa anchor with Jaffada counters.Was placed along with YVP(one of the first jobs during recession).Chose against going to US.
Ksami and YVP shared passions , books , watnot (Courtesy : Satti’s Secret Webcam) in college days and were very gay(means “happy”) friends.YVP collected Ksami’s information from Alumni records of the college and set off to his office.
Scene I : .When YVP reached Ksami’s office ,he found huge banners at the gates reading “Talk on effects of Recession on I.T – I.T baba” with photo of Ksami smiling with a “V” sybmol printed upon it. He google mapped to the venue stated on the banner and reached the conference hall.It was a room filled wih thousands of disciples and Ksami was addressing the talk.
A disciple asked ” ITEM baba ,Sorry , IT Baba gaaru , ee recession effect tattukovalante software engineers emi cheyyali baba?”
Ksami replied “Office aipoyina tarvata overtime Sytems tudavatam , bathrooms kadagatam vanti hardware panulu cheyyali nayana”
Disciple “Idi evari maata swamy?”
Ksami ” Idi anna mata , vunna mata kadu , vinna mata nayana ”
And the voice of appreciation of the Jaffa audience filled the conference room.There was a mark of jealousy in the face of YVP upon seeing the celebrity status of Ksami and he turned back with intentions of meeting him later.He surfed through for the next bakra in the list and he didnt have to search long.It was “Gottam”.He wanted to boast to Gottam about his achievements
Gottam Profile :
Favourite Pasttime : Playing High end games ; Watching movies ; Browsing library ; Meditation ; follows counterism
History : 8 pointer . Silent killer with his counters.Found it difficult to get placed during recession. Got a MS in US with job scheme.(in india talent doesnt sell)
Gottam and YVP belonged to different groups in college and always fought on the issue of which group was itemmer.Only thing common to them was their high end CG graphs.
Scene II : YVP reached Gottam’s house through address stated in the alumni records.Gottam,the geek was busy playing Halo 27 game and asked YVP to come in.
YVP thought ” Item gaadu.Recession valla khaali gaa intlo kurchunnadu.He’s the right person to boast about my achievements” and shouted aloud “Wat are you doing Gottam?”.
Gottam replied ” I’m fixing the bugs of Halo 27 game.Did you know that because of high end rendering and rastarization of pixels in GUI,it yields realistic visual simulated environment.
I think this work would give me my 51st patent in “VADAYYA” comapany”
Jealousy began to rise in YVP on seeing the success of Gottam in gaming field and he bid farewell to Gottam and left his place searching for his next targets.His target was not far off.It was Cherry P.
Cherry P Profile :
Favorite Pastime : Trying out different positions (to ride bikes)and hence accidents, Sleeping ,Maintaining Secret(obviously not to us) girl friends;tries to follow Counterism
History : 7 pointer.Cat aspirant. Known as “Andagadu of Eleru”.Worked as Hardcore event manager in felicity.Was murmured to be involved in t-shirt scam with hudibaba.
Scene III : YVP reached the address in the alumni records and ended up facing a board which read “Kubs and Cherry P Consultancy”.There were many cars parked outside the company and VIPS were waiting in queue for valuable advices of Cherry and Kub.He barged into the office stating that he was their friend and watched them in conversation with a S/W company owner
Owner : “Naa company lo ammayilu seperate gaa , abbayilu seperate gaa panichestaru Sir.Ammayilu sollu valla , Abbayila aagadala valla naa company throughput 2.7% down ayyindi”
Cherry looks at lappy and says: “Meeru oka abbayi , oka ammayi ni kalipi pair programming with debugging cheyishte throughput will increase by around 5% in one year”
Owner :”Item ayipotaanu emo Sir”
Kubs : “Telugu bhaashalo naaku nacchani oke okka maata “ITEM”.Ee nenu item avvaleda , Cherry avvaleda. But now we are the second biggest consultancy of our gully.Success avvalante mundu item avvali”
Jealousy in YVP was reaching its peak and he gulped down two of his BP (obviously expected after 3 years of research) billas and gottams and took leave of Cherry P and Kubs.He angrily searched for the bakra in the list and there was only one name that occurred to his mind “Smiling Suraj”
Smiling Suraj Profile :
Favourite Pastime : Surfing net for knowledge ; Research ; laughing , laughing and laughing ; Holds record for minimum number of counters in IIIT
History : 8 pointer . Holds record for clearing highest number of written tests in placements. Any doubt in subject , anytime ,contact : Smiling Suraj
YVP and Smiling often used to share their knowledge through GTALK and were stricitly professional “Mates”
Scene IV : YVP reached Smiling’s address through G-maps and at the entrance found large number of cars with “Smileys” on them.On the cars it was written “” Keep Smiling and start winning ” – Gifted by Smiling Suraj”.The board of the company read “Smiling Solutions – A R&D initiative by students of IIIT-H”.YVP wandered through the office and found out many familiar IIITian faces in the office.One of them,the co-founder of setup,Potti Snana,Smiling’s Gay(synonym for “happy”) partner recognized YVP and greeted him.YVP asked him the story of the setup and he began to tell
Potti Snana: “Ee office okkappudu chaala chinnadi.Smiling gaadu ilaage raatri pagalu kashtapade vadu. Okaroju vaadiki navvuthu unte oka pedda idea vacchindi.Aa “IDEA” maa jeevitanne marchesindi.Aa chinna office eenadu intha peddadaindi”
YVP : “Raa Snana naa Lancer lo veldam.”
Potti Snana : “Vaddu ra.Nenu “Smiling Solutions” lo invest chesanu .Oka Benz konukkunnanu”
YVPs temper reached out of his head and began searching for passages to get out of him in the form of smoke.He galloped two more of his BP tablets and began searching for a name which remained idle in its life during IIIT tenure.Ideally,it lead to “Mabbu”.
Mabbu Profile :
Favorite Past time : Writing Blogs(unofficial no.1 blogger),Playing football ; Search Bakras and itemising them ; Watching itemmest movies and giving the best feedback;Delivering punch dialogues (follows counterism)
History : 7 pointer. Being accalaimed as one of the brainy guys , never felt the need for doing anything and passed time in his own way.A research dual student; who never knew the way to his lab till fifth year.
Scene V : YVP reached Mabbu’s home and saw two guys discussing dialogue “Evadu todagodithe vaachipoyi yerraga avutundo vaade “Mabbu” gaadu”.When YVP asked them about Mabbu they replied
Guy I : “Mabbu gaadu kadu .Mabbu gaaru anandi.Ayaniki industry lo script writer gaa pedda perundi.PJ Mabbu gaari peru vinaleda meeru?”
YVP : “Ledu nayana.I was in US during these years.”
Guy 2: “Modern daana veera shura karna lo “Paanchali ; Pancha Badruka needi Cheera ; Kutub Minara” and Penkutillu movie lo “Battalu kuda ela vippalo mere chepte battalu eesukovalanipinchatledu nanna” lanti famous dialogues raasindi mana Mabbu gaare.”
YVPs temper could no longer be controlled.It transformed to its vapor form and finally began coming out as smoke.The two guys shouted “Fire,Fire” and poured cold water on YVP and his temper was controlled momentarily.Now YVP searched for a name wid alias “Param bewarse” in IIIT.His CG should be around 5 and he should be upto no good.The qualities lead to one single name “Vataluddin PVC”
Vataluddin Profile :
Favourite Past time : Watchin holy stuff ; Find girls in Orkut & dump them in messenger ; Playing all possible games ; OA ;Ancestor of Counterism
History : 5.03 pointer.People still research on how he managed that.Does all the god damn extra curricular activities in IIIT.It is rumored that the count of number of his true words in IIIT is below his CG.
Scene VI : YVP reached out for Vataluddin’s address but could not find it.He began to wander on roads and suddenly he found Vataluddin in one corner of the road , sweeping the dust off the road.YVP rushed out to that corner of the road to meet him.Suddenly two guys grabbed him and pulled him away.
YVP : “Leave me . He is my college friend . Paapam roadlu clean chestunnadu”
Guy 1 :”Shut up. He is the MLA of this region . “ShramaDanam” chestunnaru”.
YVP : “!!!!##@@”
YVP couldn’t take more and fainted. On waking up he realized his mistake that “Everyone is unique in this world in their own way.There is no way to judge one as greater than the other”
MORAL OF THE STORY : (You never knew there was one) “Nobody in IIIT-H is a loser.Everyone ends up winner sooner or later.The fact that you have reached here indicates that you are a winner”
PS1 : You might be wondering what will the author be doing in 2012.He would be graduating from his research program.
PS2 : Ee blog meeku kottaga leka chettaga anipinchocchu. Whatever your feeling is do jot it down as a comment.A request.
PS3 : Memories are everything in life.And IIITH has given me many to treasure in my mind .So herez a poem for IIIT-H
“Hours of BC and nightouts through coffee;
tullu mails on WAN and games on LAN;
for tranforming a selfish “ME” to a group of “WE”
thnq IIIT,”WE” miss thee ”
Knw it sounds stupid.But couldnt resist myself.
The blurr persistently became clear with my eyes opening to reality and younger brother shouting “Time to wake up bro”. My mom was explaining to me “101 advantages of getting early” ,most of which i byhearted in 20 years of my disastrous life. I woke up and was reminded that I had a class at 8:30. I looked at the clock and it was 7:00.No probs.I can watch the highlights of yesterday’s match. In this one hour my dad seemed to have re-invented “101 uses of time management” which my younger brother recited along with him(byhearted in 15 years of his life.) I never lost my composure and was getting charged up on with the thoughts of electrifying speeds I was gonna touch with my bike. By the time I was ready my clock showed 8:15 and it was time for action.
My mom came out to tell me some words of caution,stating “Nag,Class miss aina parledu.Nuvvu maathram jaagratha gaa vellu.Risk vaddu”(Nag,No prob if u miss the class.Drive carefully.No risks).I replied “Ide mom generation gap ante.Mee generation calculated risks teesukovataaniki bhayapadutundi”.(This is generation gap.Yours generation is afraid to take calculated risks) and was on my way.I started my bike and my mom was saying “Byeeeee Na………..” I flew away on my unicorn,with not all her words catching my ears.
Bikers dream is obvious. “When ur in craze,Worldz in daze” . I was in 40’s in my bike and i read a warning board planted by traffic commission of Hyderabad(Does that exist??) . “Speed Kills” . I understood it immediately “Speed kills time”. Yeah right and i sped into the 60’s. Now i saw yet another board stating “Drive slowly or else lord Yama is waiting for you”. “I dont have an appointment.Too busy” i thought and i flew to the 80’s.Now i saw yet another board but could not read it properly. “This board is for the people who drive slowly i guess”.I praised myself for my genius intuitions and raised speed to 100 kmph. The world seemed to be in blur and i was in my dream come true period.This is ultimate period of joy for an adventurous soul.”The world cant catch me”.But suddenly when i turned my neck, I saw a bike speeding past me.”An insult to my biking skills”, I thought and instinctively raised my speed.I was about to catch him.My bike was hitting top speeds like 111 kmph and i was getting closer to him. Atlast , i overtook him.”Nobody can beat me”. I turned around to show him a middle finger as a symbol of my victory and to let him know who the boss is.When i turned around i found myself incredibly close to a 10 ton truck(i guess).All i could do with reflexes was to hold the breaks so hard to hang on to my dear life.And my bike skidded and stopped (luckily!) just a few inches behind the truck. I was in a world of terror in which “You dont think,just exist.”A mob of 40-50 people gathered around me and were saying something which went well over my head.
I took my unicorn,drove some distance in 20’s(you gotta believe me) to an isolated place.Now I sat there and thought.With me, regaining my senses,I slowly , began to understand my mom’s words “Nag,Class miss aina parledu.Nuvvu maathram jaagratha gaa vellu.Risk vaddu”.Its not generation gap.Its the experience with
which she has told me the right words.The golden words which i’ll remember now whenever i drive my bike.
DEDICATED TO ALL MY FELLOW BIKERS.
Statutory Warning : All the stunts in this blog are performed by professionals please do not try this at home.
PS : This is an altered version of one of my experiences with my bike.
PS2 : My first blog.I thank Kiran and Goutham who encouraged me to write this blog.Do post a comment.